jersey shore quotes

Season 3 Quotes:

Sammi: Deena kinda reminded me of like a dirty Chihuahua, just barking, and like you kinda just wanna smack it to the side.

Ronnie: I can smell the fake tans and the hair gel already.

Deena: I can’t wait to blow the f*ckin’ speakers off this house… and don’t tell anyone I’m drunk.

Sammi: What’s her name? Diana? Deena? She looks exactly like Snooki, like 4 feet tall, short little meatball, exactly like Snooki.

Pauly D: Burgers for the boys!

The Situation: If Deena was a holiday, she’d definitely be Thanksgiving.. ‘cause she’s got a lot to give and she’s down for a lot-a-stuffin’.

Snooki: When I see everyone drinking with me it’s like Hallelujah, Hallelujah!

The Situation: The answer is.. day one, I had to pull the eject button.

Sammi: Deena kinda reminded me of like a dirty Chihuahua, just barking, and like you kinda just wanna smack it to the side.

Snooki: Even though we’re tiny b*tches, I don’t give a sh*t.. I will f*ckin’ attack you like a squirrel monkey.

Vinny: It’s T-shirt time, it’s T-shirt time, yo everybody it’s T-shirt time… I made a rap, it’s hard being this cool, ya know?

Vinny: Oh my god… this girl at the club is beyond the word stalker. She is a parasite and I am the host.

Snooki: [Deena] is like an Energizer Bunny, but her batteries don’t die. My batteries DIE.

Pauly D: You don’t come in on Sunday with a big banana and expect everything to be peaches.

Deena: She’s probably Ronnie’s backpack anywhere he goes in the club. She’s a female backpack.

The Situation: You need to feed the machine before the machine can run.

The Situation: It’s like having chicken put on the table with salt and pepper.. then somebody takes away the chicken and then you’re left with salt and pepper.

The Situation: I invented the Kitchin’ Ditchin’.

J WOWW: There’s no controlling that 4’9” girl, she’s like a 3,000 pound man.. she’s like a bulldozer.

Snooki: These are the things I think I’m addicted to: Bronzer, Boys and Alcohol.

Vinny: I feel like I’m at a pizza party .. I need like Ninja Turtle plates.

Vinny: Tonight there’s a Grenade running around the house .. so I got the Grenade Horn in the house that lets Seaside know when Grenades are present at the Jersey Shore house.

Deena: Karma’s a b*tch.. literally.

Ronnie: Everyone’s having a good time, everyone’s gettin’ along in the house. But, once again, one step forward, two step backs.

Deena: It’s not Halloween. I’m not handing out candy for free, like you need a golden ticket to get in these drawers.

The Situation: We’re waiting for Sam, who’s straightening her hair… whose hair is already straight! Come on man! The only thing that needs to be straightened out is her brain.

Vinny: Danielle is at the house tonight, stalker, stage 5 clinger, alert alert .. is in my house tonight.

Pauly D: I’m stressed over over Ron and Sam’s relationship .. am I supposed to be stressed out over someone else’s relationship?? It’s not right!

The Situation: Ironically, Ron called Sam every curse under the sun and destroyed all of her stuff. Ron had been pissed at me for Guy Code… it’s like where’s like general Human Code?

Ronnie: Listening to Mike about relationship problems is like a listening to a sailor about flying a plane.

The Situation: What am I gonna say to [Ronnie]? Ya know… just tell him to put on a little Michael Bolton!

Deena: Team Meatballs ONE – Bromance ZERO.

Vinny: His name isn’t Sitch anymore, it’s Snitchuation.

The Situation: There’s classes of grenades, it goes like: Grenade, Grenade Launcher, Submarine, Tank… then after the Tank it’s the A-Bomb.

The Situation: Deena turns into the Sloppapotamus.. a combination of a Slot Tart & a hippopotamus put together. It’s a Slopa..Slopa..Slopatapadis?

Snooki: (to the cab driver) Can you look at me real quick?! WATCH THE ROAD!!!! but do I look hot???

Deena: Mike thinks he’s gonna get over on the Meatballs, but in reality baby, the Meatballs make the best of every situation, so go screw yourself Mike.

The Situation: Deena & Snooks have just shown again why they defy the laws of intelligence.

Ronnie: I’m done you’re done we’re done I’m done you’re done, d-d-d-d-d-d-d-done-done-done. Like, I don’t even know at this point!

Pauly D: [Deena]‘s out of control! I just spilled my coffee & I don’t even drink coffee.

Snooki: I can have a good time without drinking, f*ck you alcohol.

Sammie: Their beer goggles are HORRIBLE.

Snooki: TEAM SOBER, B*TCH!

Pauly D: I did not know Staten Island was an actual island until we went over the bridge

Vinny’s Cousin Joe (to Pauly D): What is with that haircut man? Bride of Frankenstein ain’t got nothin’ on you!

Snooki: Whoever I have babies with has to be Italian. I want my kids last name to have a vowel on it.. and be tanned, obviously.

Snooki: I look like a pale freak. I feel like Vinny.

Vinny: I look like a total tool, the spray tan is freezing cold, but I know that it’s gonna be for a good cause, I’m gonna get tanned. Pain is Beauty.

Pauly D: GTI.. Gym, Tan, I’m Not Buyin’ It.

Ronnie: Your hand was in the f*ckin’ cookie jar, how you gonna sit there with the crumbs on your lip and be like, I didn’t eat the cookie!