Funny Love Quotes

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

Love is being stupid together

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work

Love is grand divorce is a hundred grand.

No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.

True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.

Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.

All marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.

Love is blind, marriage is the eye opener

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you.
And she never did.

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.

It is impossible to love and be wise.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands.

Men aren’t necessities, they’re luxuries.

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him.

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

You can’t buy love on eBay.

Men only have two faults….What they do, and what they say!

Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind along the way.

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.”

Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.